Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin.
I’ve just realised that a lot of people (1,770 to be precise) have been googling ‘Textual Intercourse – Francesca Larkin, which is great, only that nowhere on my website does it actually say my real name; Francesca Larkin. Therefore people have been coming up with blanks. Balls! – is all I can say to that.
Another thing that I can say Balls! to, is that fact that textsfromlastnight.com, a website that you put your drunken texts onto, are bringing out a book on the 26th September. (Don’t know why I’m mentioning it cause I’m practically advertising it for them). It’s exactly the same book as mine, only American. So, if you want to support the British version, buy my book now. Pleeeeeaaaaasee!
Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin.
Is there any place in a circus, for a writer?
I sign on today. I wonder if they’ll be able to find a publishing deal for me, at the Job Centre? Hmmmm maybe not. It’s gonna be quite interesting to see what they suggest in place of a publishing deal. When I was looking for acting work they offered me some circus work, when I was an event manager they offered me circus work. Is there any place in a circus, for a writer? Roll up, Roll up! Now watch Ladies and Gentlemen as the amazing Beob simply sits and observes, then magically produces a piece of writing … about a month later. Da Daar!
Still in the throws of Christmas
So far, no good in the pubishing deal/employment seeking department but on 30th December it’s still alright to be in the throws of Christmas, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure that it’s still acceptable to be sleeping till 11am and then getting up and going back to bed and watching Knocked Up; I’ve only got one more day left of getting away with it though. I’m fine with the unemployed, being 30 and being single thing today, but come the new year i’m expecting it might all come down on me like a 2 tonne dead Christmas tree with sharp, broken baubles on it. Then again on the positive, I have no job, so until it starts to feel really bad watching back to back Prison Break I’m gonna carry on. That publishing deal would be amazing though!
still single then!
Well in order to improve on my impending single and unemployed status, I took advantage of my last few days of rubbing shoulders with the public at Borders and asked a customer out. This is the line I went for; “Y’know I could probably get you 70% off that (referring to the book on Murderers in his hand), but then you’d have to go out for a Christmas drink with me.” Sounds pretty cool ha? Mmmm it wasn’t. My voice was shaking whilst I said it, so the words sounded like they were vibrating and he didn’t actually say anything back. He didn’t even look at me. Just left me stood there like a real duschbag.
5 more days to go before I lose my job and it’s official that I am the worst catch in Leeds. Nobody wants me!
Unemployed, single and turning 30
I’m standing at a checkout at Borders, listening to customers telling me how very sad they are that we are shutting, even though this is probably the first thing they’ve bought from us in 2 years. I’m sad too but after the same conversation for 2 weeks solid, I think my once, genuine smile is looking a tad fake.
Alas though it is indeed looking like my short, happy days of being a Bookseller are coming to an end, and it’s looking more and more likely that Borders will be closing next week; a week before Christmas. Ha! Unemployed, single and turning 30 next week. I probably should be more sad than I feel. I just feel very sad for the shop and all the lovely geeks that work here with me. But its like the song ‘Vincent’; This world was never meant for a shop as beautiful as Borders.
As for me, I have an ace up my sleeve. Come the new year, I have a choice to make. Do I get a crappy job that will bleed my brain dry, or do I have the balls to follow my dreams and stop at nothing, until I get a publishing deal? Your opinions would be most helpful.
Beob xx
Make sure you get your copy for christmas UK/Europe orders need to be in by December 1 for economy post.
December 10 for all USA states except Alaska and Hawaii.
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To make sure you get your copy for christmas UK/Europe orders need to be in
by December 1 for economy post.
December 10 for all USA states except Alaska and Hawaii.
Now Available in Print
Textual intercourse is available as a soft or hard back book,
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Textual Intercourse …..everyone’s doing it – 22 page preview
Warning this book preview contains explicit language