April 8, 2011

Return to Sender

Posted by : Beob
Filed under : Uncategorized

January 18th 2010 was the last time I blogged about my book.  In fact that was probably the last time I actively promoted my book.  I almost forgot about it.  During the past year it would take me by surprise when someone asked me how it was going, because I didn’t have an answer prepared.  All along my website sat silently, waiting for attention.  I’d sometimes see the link in my internet history and would follow it, but only for a second, ashamed and cringing at another forgotten, unfinished dream.  I forgot about the book that had taken up 2 years of my life.  How did that happen? 

Well life happened and took over.  No doubt other plans and schemes of making money surfaced and made my sweet little treasured book, which I had put my all into innocently thinking that writing it was going to be the hard part, seem like a childish scribble that was not going to provide any foundations for my future.  So into the corner of my room went the box full of hard copies of ‘Textual Intercourse – Everyone’s doing it!  So what makes today any different?

I have no idea, this wasn’t planned.  Yesterday I sent off a submission to www.sincesheleft.com and I got an email straight back asking me for a link to my blog or website.  Well I was so ashamed that I didn’t have a blog or any real presence on the web that I gave this address.  So I’d love to say that I knew the day would come when I would organically return to textualintercourse; when the time was right for me and my book, but nah!  It was pure embarrassment at my patheticness, that gave me a slap around my chops!

But what now? Am I going to try getting my book published again?  To be honest, I think the time may have passed for Textual Intercourse.  When I was writing it, getting on to 3 years ago now, the whole text message thing seemed very current but even then I was afraid I had missed the boat.  Trends change so fast and the trick is to get the timing right; the tipping point, it’s a matter of luck really.  Or maybe it’s just me who’s moved on but whatever the case, I’m ready for the next project. 

But maybe looking at this as a side project is a healthier way to view it.  Maybe Textual Intercourse isn’t going to make me my millions but it’s still a treasure and it’s still something that’s got my stamp on it.  Beob Larkin woz ere! 

p.s. That’s not to say Textual Intercourse isn’t for sale and isn’t completely brilliant.  A true work of art.  A real sign of the times.  Not to be missed.  Get your copy now.

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January 18, 2010

Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin. Francesca Larkin.

Posted by : Beob
Filed under : Uncategorized

I’ve just realised that a lot of people (1,770 to be precise) have been googling ‘Textual Intercourse – Francesca Larkin, which is great, only that nowhere on my website does it actually say my real name; Francesca Larkin.  Therefore people have been coming up with blanks.  Balls! –  is all I can say to that.

Another thing that I can say Balls! to, is that fact that textsfromlastnight.com, a website that you put your drunken texts onto, are bringing out a book on the 26th September.  (Don’t know why I’m mentioning it cause I’m practically advertising it for them).  It’s exactly the same book as mine, only American.  So, if you want to support the British version, buy my book now.  Pleeeeeaaaaasee!

Francesca Larkin.  Francesca Larkin.  Francesca Larkin.  Francesca Larkin.  Francesca Larkin.

January 7, 2010

Is there any place in a circus, for a writer?

Posted by : Beob
Filed under : Uncategorized

I sign on today.  I wonder if they’ll be able to find a publishing deal for me, at the Job Centre?  Hmmmm maybe not.  It’s gonna be quite interesting to see what they suggest in place of a publishing deal.  When I was looking for acting work they offered me some circus work, when I was an event manager they offered me circus work.  Is there any place in a circus, for a writer?  Roll up, Roll up!  Now watch Ladies and Gentlemen as the amazing Beob simply sits and observes, then magically produces a piece of writing … about a month later.  Da Daar!

January 6, 2010

Still in the throws of Christmas

Posted by : Beob
Filed under : Uncategorized

So far, no good in the pubishing deal/employment seeking department but on 30th December it’s still alright to be in the throws of Christmas, isn’t it?  I’m pretty sure that it’s still acceptable to be sleeping till 11am and then getting up and going back to bed and watching Knocked Up; I’ve only got one more day left of getting away with it though.  I’m fine with the unemployed, being 30 and being single thing today, but come the new year i’m expecting it might all come down on me like a 2 tonne dead Christmas tree with sharp, broken baubles on it.  Then again on the positive, I have no job, so until it starts to feel really bad watching back to back Prison Break I’m gonna carry on.  That publishing deal would be amazing though!

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December 17, 2009

still single then!

Posted by : admin
Filed under : Uncategorized

Well in order to improve on my impending single and unemployed status, I took advantage of my last few days of rubbing shoulders with the public at Borders and asked a customer out. This is the line I went for; “Y’know I could probably get you 70% off that (referring to the book on Murderers in his hand), but then you’d have to go out for a Christmas drink with me.” Sounds pretty cool ha? Mmmm it wasn’t. My voice was shaking whilst I said it, so the words sounded like they were vibrating and he didn’t actually say anything back. He didn’t even look at me. Just left me stood there like a real duschbag.
5 more days to go before I lose my job and it’s official that I am the worst catch in Leeds. Nobody wants me!

December 15, 2009

Unemployed, single and turning 30

Posted by : admin
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I’m standing at a checkout at Borders, listening to customers telling me how very sad they are that we are shutting, even though this is probably the first thing they’ve bought from us in 2 years. I’m sad too but after the same conversation for 2 weeks solid, I think my once, genuine smile is looking a tad fake.
Alas though it is indeed looking like my short, happy days of being a Bookseller are coming to an end, and it’s looking more and more likely that Borders will be closing next week; a week before Christmas. Ha! Unemployed, single and turning 30 next week. I probably should be more sad than I feel. I just feel very sad for the shop and all the lovely geeks that work here with me. But its like the song ‘Vincent’; This world was never meant for a shop as beautiful as Borders.
As for me, I have an ace up my sleeve. Come the new year, I have a choice to make. Do I get a crappy job that will bleed my brain dry, or do I have the balls to follow my dreams and stop at nothing, until I get a publishing deal? Your opinions would be most helpful.
Beob xx

November 27, 2009

Posted by : admin

Make sure you get your copy for christmas UK/Europe orders need to be in by December 1 for economy post.

December 10 for all USA states except Alaska and Hawaii.
Get full details when you click through the link below to order…..

November 18, 2009

Textual Intercourse on facebook

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Become a textual intercourse fan by clicking the link below….

November 16, 2009

Order in time for the holidays!

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Go to our BOOK SHOP page now to order….

To make sure you get your copy for christmas UK/Europe orders need to be in
by December 1 for economy post.

December 10 for all USA states except Alaska and Hawaii.


November 16, 2009

Now Available in Print

Posted by : admin

Textual intercourse is available as a soft or hard back book,
to buy your copy click on the small cover below:

…..everyone’s doing it

Textual intercourse Volume 2
To be one of Beob’s next victims send in your
best texts to 07815 297127, with your e-mail
address and prepare yourself for a visit from
Beob the text vampire.

beob [at] textualintercourse [dot] co.uk

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